Lockhart mentors Harry
by the-demon-wolf
Summary: What if Lockhart took Harry under his wing? What if Lockhart really was the hero he claimed to be?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

"Immobulus!" Hermione shouted, hitting two pixies with the freezing charm. Harry and Ron were quick to copy her and soon had all the pixies frozen and levitated them back to their cage. As they closed the cage they heard clapping coming from the back of the classroom. "Very good, very good indeed! 15 points to Gryffindor!" Lockhart exclaimed from where he was standing. He then began to walk over to where the trio were standing.

"How did you get back there?" Harry asked.

"I've been back here all along; I disillusioned myself and casted an illusion spell in order to make it seem as though I was at the front and then ran away when attacked by pixies" Lockhart replied with a smile that dwarfed his earlier ones.

"But, but why!?" cried Hermione.

"Because I wanted to see how everyone acted under pressure. I mean come on, did anyone think Peskipiksi Pesternomi was a real spell?"

Hermione couldn't decide if she was relieved that her crush was not as pathetic as he had seemed or upset that he was lying.

"Come and see me Harry, once your classes are finished. I think you will find that we are more alike than you think."

"Mr. Lockhart?" Harry called as he entered the office, noticing that, in contrast to the classroom, it was very simply decorated.

"Harry, my boy! Come in, come in and have a seat." Lockhart was smiling warmly, Harry couldn't help contrasting it to the overly wide smiles he'd seen before. "Now, you've been thinking I was nothing more than an arrogant self-centered jerk am I right?"

Harry blushed, but Lockhart continued unfazed, "That's all right Harry, I am an arrogant self-centered jerk and my ex-wives can attest to it, but we are here to talk about you. What do you want Harry?"

"I don't understand sir, what do I want for what?"

"No, my boy! I mean what do you what out of life? What do you want to do? What do you want to be? How do you want to be remembered?"

Harry looked Lockhart right in the eye and said "I just want to normal."

Lockhart looked like that he was going to laugh "Normal, Harry Potter, is the one thing that you'll never be." Noticing Harry's downcast expression Lockhart quickly added, "It's our curse my boy, the curse of the exceptional. Now I know you didn't ask for it but when you became famous this burden was placed on you. I can show you how to deal with fame, if you don't claim it and make it your own it will turn on you. Let me show you how to defend your reputation, and you body. I don't expect you to answer right away, if fact, let's consider this a free lesson: never trust arbitrary time limits, people will always use them to force you into a bad decision. Take your time, maybe talk to you little bushy girlfriend and see if you want what I'm offering."

Harry left for the dorms, his head spinning so much that he didn't even protest that Hermione was just a friend.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclamer: I don't own Harry Potter and no one is making money off this,

AN: Sorry for the wait, my beta had to quit for personal reasons leaving me to find a new on. I would like to thank TabiPrewett for stepping in and making this pile of junk readable.

Turns out Harry didn't need to look hard for Hermione as she was waiting for him in the common room. "Harry, are you ok? What did he want? Did he say anything about me? Didhetalktoyou?Didyouinsulthim?Iswearifyoudon'tstopdissrespecing"

"HERMIONE!" He shouted, bringing her out of her sudden tirade, "He made me an offer." Harry said more than a little stunned at the rapid fire assault of words from his friends mouth.

"HARRY, Lockhart is a hero but he is an adult and a teacher, you cannot do that with him! We need to tell Dumbledore right away!" She exclaimed blushing heavily, "Stop laughing!"

"Relax Hermione, it wasn't THAT kind of offer. He wants to give me extra tutoring in Defense as well as teaching me to: 'manage my fame' whatever that means." At this point Harry started worrying for his favorite brunette on account of the fact that she appeared to be broken. Hermione just stood there with her mouth open (which she never did) making an almost silent high pitched squeaky noise. Before he could ask if she was okay however she stopped being broken.

Now whether or not this was an improvement was debatable, mostly on account of the amazingly, remarkably, unbelievably, loud scream she let out. Students in the common room turned and looked while everyone in both the boys and girls dorms came pouring out to see what happened.

Meanwhile Hermione had grabbed Harry in a hug and was bouncing up and down while babbling incoherently. Harry certainly had no idea what she was saying or even that she was talking having gone temperately deaf from the shrieking. Truthfully he was only vaguely aware of Percy pulling Hermione off him and lecturing her while shaking his finger at her.

Whatever Percy said however worked and a blushing Hermione led Harry by the arm to have Madam Pomfrey fix his ears.

Once Poppy had him fixed up he turn to Hermione who was trying to look embarrassed but couldn't hide her excitement. "Oh Harry, this so exciting, you are going to get lessons from The Gilderoy Lockhart and you can tell me what he teaches you." Harry thought to question why he would be passing on the lessons, but the look on Hermione's face made it clear that was not a request.

"Hermione I don't even know if I want to receive private lessons from Lockhart." At this point Hermione made the LOOK. Not the bossy do what I say look, not the scary what did you do look, but the little girl about to cry look. And Harry couldn't stand it. "OKAY! If it makes you happy I will take the lessons." The smile Hermione gave him warmed his heart, maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

"Excellent! I knew you would see it my way." They turned and looked and Lockhart was leaning against the door frame. "I have no problem with Ms. Granger sitting in on our lessons, had her pegged as the brains of the operation, anyways."

Seeing Hermione was currently doing an impression of a old red railroad conductors lamp (though where that reference came from he had no idea) as well as the fact that she was about to mumble something and embarrass herself (yes he noticed her crush on the teacher, no he wouldn't tease her over it) Harry spoke up, "That's our Hermione, wouldn't have made it last year without her help."

"That settles it then, I will go and get the paperwork filled out and arrange things with the school. See you both soon." Then with a flourish Lockhart race out of the infirmary..

Things almost seemed normal for about a day then things got worse, unsurprisingly it happened during potions.

"So Scarhead I hear Loser Lockhart will be giving you special lessons. Maybe he can teach you how to handle your hair!" Malfoy said, glaring sneeringly at Harry.

"Sit down Mr. Malfoy," Snape said as he glided into the room. "So Potter you decided to hitch you cart to that imbecile Lockhart. I suppose that cowardly and incompetent idiot is as good a teacher as you deserve but I hate to see what will happen to you already overinflated ego." Snape then spent the rest of the class berating Harry causing him to mess up ending up with a zero for the day. Harry took an odd sort of comfort in that even Hermione wouldn't justify his behavior (though that could be because of the insults to Lockhart). However what he didn't know was that his worst potions lesson to date would lead to one of the most talk about moments at Hogwarts in living memory.

It was at dinner that night in the great hall when Lockhart came storming in, he move with purpose and though he didn't shout or stomp he drew all attention to himself. "Severus Tobias Snape you have slandered my good name!" Lockhart strode up to Snape sitting at the teachers table and slapped him across the face. " Tomorrow night after dinner I challenge you to a duel. Either do it for your honor or be labeled a coward." He then turned around and strode back out without acknowledging anyone. Harry lookedfirst at Snape who looked madder than anyone had seen before (which was saying something) then at Dumbledore who clearly had no idea what was going on.

"I wonder how word of what Snape was saying about Lockhart got back to him" Hermione said. "I don't know" Harry replied "but I know who I am rooting for"


	3. Chapter 3

Disclamer: I don't own Harry Potter and no one is making money off this,

"Surely we can resolve this without traumatizing the students with a duel." Dumbledore implored Lockhart at the emergency staff meeting. "If I were you _Headmaster_ I would be looking for a new Potions Master instead of wasting our time here. Snape has made no attempt to apologize for his unwarranted attack on my good name and I am now past the point where words will resolve the issue." Lockhart stated pouting in his chair like a petulant child.

Flitwick laughed "You always were a thin skinned little raven. When I told you that you needed to toughen up to deal with bullies I didn't mean just getting better at dueling." In truth Filius was looking forward to the duel (and seeing if he could trick anyone to bet against Lockhart) but felt that as a professional he needed to make an effort to stop it.

Lockhart thrust his chin up into the air "I have spent every waking moment since graduating Hogwarts building up my reputation and will not have it torn down without a fight!" All pretense of calm was now abandoned. "I can assure you that the only way I will call off this duel is for that loathsome cur to crawl on his knees in Great Hall and beg forgiveness! Then when he has kissed my feet and snapped his own wand I MIGHT CONSIDER NOT SMITING HIM FOR THIS OUTRAGE!" The last was shouted has Lockhart stood and jabbed his finger at Snape before storming out of the office.

Severus looked at where everyone was now looking at him, "I am not apologizing. In fact, I think I will enjoy proving Lockhart is nothing more than an overblown windbag with delusions of adequacy. Good day." And with that he glided out of the room. 

Dumbledore sighed, had this been any other two teachers they could have sat down and reached some kind of workable relationship even if they would never get along personally. Now it looked like he be lucky if he could keep Severus from using Dark Magic in the duel (technically legal but not a good example in front of children). Well if it couldn't be helped then he had better call the DMLE so they could send someone to fill out the paperwork and officiate the duel.

Since he needed to prepare for the duel, but didn't want Harry to think he wasn't taking his mentor-ship seriously (and because Harry confided in him that Hermione was starting to flip out) Lockhart gave Harry an egg that a fan had sent him on the condition that he and Hermione figure out what kind of egg it is and hatch it.

Ron's contribution was to poke at it. "why does it feel so weird and leathery"

"Because Ron, it is obviously a reptile egg. Come on Harry lets go to Library and see what books they have on reptiles and their eggs."

After spending the day learning more about reptiles than he probably ever would wanted to know, and discovering that the magic world had many creatures that he hoped very much to never meet as well as meeting quite possible the strangest blond Ravenclaw in existence when she just showed up and started to help with the research, Harry and Hermione finally called it a day slumped down to the great hall.

After dinner (which was uneventful except for the strict looking adult redhead who sat next to Susan Bones at the Hufflepuff table) the staff quickly rearranged seating so that the students were seated in bleachers on either side of the Great Hall. Then they raised a large platform and began warding it. While waiting to be called up to the platform Professor Lockhart could be seen entertaining the reporters from the Profit and the Wireless. Finally both men were call up to the platform where Madam Bones (as Harry learned Susan's Aunt liked to be called) spoke to them both before having them sign some papers and motioning them to their side of the platform.

At her signal Snape began firing curse after curse at Lockhart. Lockhart responded in kind but it soon became apparent that he wasn't aiming at Snape but instead was shooting at the individual curses themselves. Every spell he used was just to counter the spells sent at him. Meanwhile Snape's face was glowing more and more with red hot rage, finally he stopped firing and sneered at Lockhart. "That's it you pompous fraud, I'll kill you! Sectumempra!" He cried slashing is wand at Lockhart who for once was not smiling. He had a look of calm concentration on his face and at the moment the spell would hit he swung his wand in a batting motion, Harry notice a small almost unnoticeable gold glow on the wand. The energy from the spell seemed to ricochet off Lockhart's wand, but instead of bouncing around randomly the spell went straight at Snape. The impact of the spell knocked him clean off his feet. Noticing he had dropped his wand Amelia dutifully counted to 10 before declaring Lockhart the winner. In the midst of the celebration it took them while to realize Snape never got back up.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, and I wrote this on a old, barley working computer so suing me is a wast of time**

 **AN: Sorry for the delay I have be very busy and didn't relize this wasnt posted. Thank to everyone for your support.**

Dumbledore couldn't remember the last time he had a day this bad; first two of his teachers decided to duel each other in front of the students, then one of them hit the other with a dark curse not seen since the war. Now his Potion Master was in the hospital and his DDA Professor was taken for questioning by the DMLE. And of course the Board of Governors was up in arms about "teachers trying to kill each other" and Malfoy was dancing about as close to accusing Lockhart to being a psycho as he could without actually saying it (worried no doubt that Lockhart would challenge him to a duel). Not to mention the old man's heart broke a little inside when he heard the students gleefully spread the rumor that Snape was going to die, he knew his friend would never be the most popular teacher in Hogwarts but to speak so callously about a man's death? It made him wonder if the world itself wasn't turning a bit dark.

Hermione was having quite a wonderful time. First she got to see a magic duel, (and while she did not care for violence she did enjoy seeing what grownup wizards could do) and now she and Harry had a research project. She was a bit miffed that Ron wouldn't help (in fact he said some suggestive things about her and Harry's sanity) but then she did enjoy spending one on one time with Harry away from Ron. Well one on one wasn't entirely accurate, since that Ravenclaw girl had just walked over and invited herself to their research project. On the one hand Luna (as the girl had introduced herself) had just sat down at their table without asking, but on the other she seemed... lonely.

Hermione had asked around and it would seem that Luna wasn't fitting into Ravenclaw well, and Hermione couldn't bring herself to turn Luna away. Okay to be honest Hermione was not in the position of have an overabundance of friends herself. Unfortunately most of the recommendations Luna made about what kind of egg it was were animals that Hermione neither had heard of or could find any reference to. She rubbed her eyes, "Luna, I am not saying it's not a helipath egg but I cannot agree that it is until you show me a book telling me what a helipath is and what it's egg should look like. And where are we supposed to find an active volcano to hatch it in even if it is?."

Luna tilted her head to the side, "Ok Hermione, for now we will say the Lamia egg is not a helipath egg."

Hermione's eye started to twitch, "And how long did you know that it was a Lamia egg?"

From the look on Luna's face it was obvious she had slipped up. First her already large eyes widened, then she lowered her head and spoke softly. "After about an hour or so, I just was enjoying being with you and didn't want it to end."

At this point Harry interjected, "Luna since you identified the egg, and I'm pretty sure that Hermione and I don't know how to hatch it would you please help us with that part of the project?"

Hermione smiled at her best friend, whether it was the research project or spending less time around Ron, Harry was getting quicker on the uptake.

Luna smiled, brighter than either of them had seen before, "Really you want my help?"

Harry answered, "I think it was clear that you know more about this than Hermione and I, plus I think we are becoming good friends and I need all I can get." Harry was now rendered speechless by a crying Luna slamming into him for a hug. Hermione soon joined in and they just stood like that holding each other in the library for a while.

"And so he says I'm a werewolf? I thought I just had a drinking problem!" Gilderoy Lockhart said, causing much laughter and applause from the Aurors.

"That's a fantastic story, I can see why you started selling them" Madam Bones said wiping a tear away from her eye. "But business must intrude I'm afraid. What can you tell me about the last spell we found on your wand?"

"A spell I picked up on my travels, the fellow who came up with it didn't bother to name it, but was willing to trade it for one of mine." Amelia nodded at this; it was a common practice among travailing adventurers. "There's no incantation and the movement is just a swing like you saw, it is mostly precision and concentration. But it will not only stop but reflect almost any offensive spell back at the attacker."

Bones's eyes lit up at the prospect of such a spell, "I will have to see if we can work out a deal for you teaching it here, but that is a matter for another day. The spell you reflected back was one I have never seen used before but was familiar with the effects. During the last war we had a lot of deaths by that spell and until now no suspects for their murder. Assuming Mr. Snape survives he will have a lot of explaining to do.

"Yes well hopefully I have helped the DMLE close some cases and bring closure to families. As for the spell I think a trade can be arranged."


End file.
